No Apology

So there was no parade, but we did have some fireworks. I have mentioned here before that “aggression, accusations, and abusive language are like a fireworks display, loud and distracting and leave only smoke in their wake.” Best of all, I have lost my membership to “the fan club”; that forum where any dissent is met with immediate blocking. I blame myself for that one; I should have figured it out long before that autocrats have no room for dissenting views. I also understand that someone made an attempt to write me an open letter. The only problem is this, it is not so open if you are posting it in a secret group where the letter's recipient has been blocked. It now becomes just another juicy piece of gossip.

I have been attacked for my supposed “good life” in the USA “sponsored by SOS”. All I can say is that I graduated several years back, so I am obviously not under SOS sponsorship. Another thing, I am sorry, but I cannot apologize for my achievements. I cannot beat myself down to make you feel good about yourself. You are in control of your feelings, whatever you feel about yourself starts in your head and no matter what I tell you, that voice in your head remains the loudest. We all come to SOS and get the same opportunity. What you do with yours is your business. My education in SOS has been mainly through scholarships which I got by merit, nothing was handed to me.  My achievements are mine to own and nobody can shame me out of my pride. I worked hard for them, focused and got whatever I aimed for.

We have this bad habit of insulting each other on the basis of achievements, diction, the car one drives, where one lives, etc. I was brought up in SOS, we all were.  We participated in the same activities, ate the same food and had the same interactions, in other words; same opportunities for everyone.  You cannot classify me based on your own insecurities, to be able to deal with who I have become. And I am sorry I will not lower my standard to accommodate your mediocrity.

Most of us are still dealing with mob psychology issues, we are still learning to support individual thought. We are beginning to understand that it is ok to be a lone wolf; that it is ok to say no, that we can withstand peer pressure and have different viewpoints. We are learning that the world is bigger than the SOS village. Unfortunately, some are coping and some have failed miserably so they will come back repeatedly to that place they feel most at home and cuddle within it for security and to feel needed and relevant. The enemies of progress are those that still operate in packs and howl incessantly any time they feel the wind blowing in the direction they do not like.

I rest in the knowledge that my head is sticking out and that’s the reason why so many hits are coming my way. I have been accused of being an enemy of progress. If that progress refers to the planned demo, I cannot be faulted for requesting for clarification before participating. I also never asked people not to demo, I just pointed out the flaw in the plan and decided to watch from the sidelines. I recall making the reference of killing the fly with the hammer, we didn’t need the big guns for this, and there was a better solution. I still maintain that the best way to work with the administration is symbiotically, a give and take relationship. As for my stand on the issues we are facing, I have been blogging on them for the past few years. Let those who have eyes read; and may God bless them with some understanding.

Open Letter to Isaac Irungu

Allow me to join the melee for a moment, since my non-participation in some forums has been of concern to some. I will just pen an open letter to my brother Isaac. Kufungua moyo in my own way, since you threw down the gauntlet. This challenge is well received since I did indeed air my opinions on your planned demonstration. I have to say my concern was for the SOS children in the facilities who are still dependants of SOS. As for those of us over 18 years, we are legally adults and our orphan status becomes a challenge we overcame and not a status we fall back in when we feel overwhelmed by life’s challenges. I understand some may have a problem with my stance, but in our interactions with SOS need to be tempered since we need to give our younger siblings as much chance as we got to make something of their lives. So here we go.

My Dear Brother Isaac,

Thank you for ousting me in such an unceremonious manner. It must befuddle you that not all of us wish to do our work in the spotlight. Knowing how much you crave for people’s attention and approval. It is not that I am not proud of my work. Far from it, I just wanted the anonymity for a balanced discourse. The manner in which you ousted me was frankly insulting, with your claims of my sister being paid by management, and of me being her foot solder. The truth is my sister is an awesome woman, and a good role model in my opinion. She is accomplished and respected. You Isaac, on the other hand cannot hold a candle up to her; even with a ten-year head start. So yes, I would gladly be her foot solder because I know she is a capable leader. As for the money exchanging hands we all know who engages in those tactics. Didn’t you pay off your siblings once to discredit your sister’s claims? I’ll leave it at that.

I called you an assumed leader because you found a weakness and exploited it. You are determined to lead by tooth and nail. You will even go to the extent of calling yourself youth when the cutoff age for youth disqualifies you. Check the UNESCO website; “The UN, for statistical consistency across regions, defines 'youth', as those persons between the ages of 15 and 24 years” so my brother this disqualifies you outright from making such claims. Your peers refuse to let you lead them and that makes you furious. It is the reason you refuse to use the established body for Senior SOS members SOBGA which is recognized and has a charter in place to address issues that are of concern in our community. You prefer to run your show through a fractured faction of ex-SOS who let you run amok, claiming to represent us all. I refuse to let you give the impression that your views and decisions on issues represent us all.

I will let you in on the reasons why you have continuously been rejected as a leader by your peers.  You are not a bad person; your heart is in the right place. After all, we all want what’s best for SOS. In your case however, your problem solving skills are wanting and in need of improvement. Another thing not working for you is, you just have a bad relationship with other people’s money (unpaid loans), you are the first to throw stones on misappropriation of funds but forget you have the same sins (KShs 20,000 welfare money you need to pay up, misplaced grant money), you have no ability to resolve issues diplomatically, you are not ready to reason with anyone who opposes your view, and you lack good judgment. That is why I reject you as a leader. You may feel like you have a following, but eventually the mask will fall and their eyes will open and you will be seen for who you are.

I would also like to request you to cease and desist from using the name of SOS youth to solicit funds from people in the name of creating employment opportunities and/or businesses that will purportedly help the youth be self sufficient. Case in point being the grant you received from SOS, please explain to your ardent supporters how you used their name to get a grant from SOS KDI to boost your business with the claim that you will employ SOS youth. To date you have not done as you promised and have not given feedback on how you implemented the project. I believe you keep records for all these transactions and can provide a good report if needed. I honestly believe your reluctance to work with SOS KDI fraud department stemmed from your previous dealings with them, and your inability to account for the grant money.

Please do not take this as an invitation to engage in words. It is mentally exhausting for me to engage with you. You do not pay heed to reason, you are unable to engage in a meaningful discourse, and are so full of your own self-worth. You remind me of real estate values in Nairobi, so over-valued. Unfortunately, you also happen to be the price-fixer in this case. However, if you decide to engage, I feel no compulsion to reply to you. So you go ahead and do you anyway, if that will help you achieve your zen.

Peace,

Njeri

I will not picket!!!

I understand that sometime in the next 24 hours we are to picket in protest of our brother Mutiso’s sacking from his position as the Village Director. This protest is supposed to push the administration to invert their decision and reinstate our brother to his previous position. I refuse to picket for a number of reasons.

The Whys.

I do not have the details of the reasons for the dismissal, but I do believe that the SOS organization is not an “at will” employer, and thus will need to have good cause to fire an employee. Whatever the reasons for letting him go must be well documented and correct procedures followed. We do not need a protest to get to the bottom of it. The aggrieved party has the ability to state their grievances and a solution can be found. We all know how notorious SOS is at keeping records for everything, so somewhere there is a document stating the reasons for the dismissal. On the other hand, Mutiso has not stated his position in the matter so we can only presume that he is consenting to the actions being carried out in his name. Silence means consent and all that.

Double standards

Are we saying that ex-SOS children who choose to work for the organization be handled with kid gloves? We did demand that institutional corruption be handled. If anyone in the organization is found to be engaging in any unfavorable activities, they should be let go. Notwithstanding if they are ex-SOS children employees (personally I hold them to a higher standard with the expectation that they being beneficiaries of SOS should know better). I will reiterate my point of SOS the organization and SOS the home as different entities. Dismissal from the organization does not mean dismissal in the social setting. If anything, families are pulled together in times of adversity. We may not like that our brother was sacked as a family, but that does not rule out the fact that he was found wanting at the organization level.

Leadership

I have no faith in the organizers of the protest. I believe there is a lack of transparency in their actions and most of all a hidden agenda in their activities in general. How was this decision to hit the streets made? Is there a general consensus that this is the right path to take? Why the refusal to use the proper channels to resolve the issue? Who is financing the activity? I suppose if we follow the money we can reveal the masterminds and in the process know what the real agenda is. The problem with assumed leadership is that the loudest entities believe that they represent the masses. Unfortunately, the voice of reason always gets heard eventually. After all it only took one small kid to convince everyone that the emperor had no clothes. We need to change up things, we need to choose paths that make sense and not means to an end for some people’s agendas.

Transparency (or lack thereof)

I also understand the in-depth information on the matter was only imparted to a particular clique, and not everyone expected to show up for the demonstration. We have progressively built groups within groups among ourselves; we have also insulted each other and engaged in breaking each other down. All these contrary to the message we try to portray, that we are one big family. How do you convince people you pushed away to join in your activities and present a united front? Do not be selective of what activities I am able to participate in as a family member. We all need each other as a family, but I believe if you want my brawn, you cannot separate it from the brain. You have to give me the information I need to make the decision whether I will picket or not. Without which I will not avail myself to further your agenda.

Ethics

The success of SOS as an organization depends on a careful balance of diplomacy and social engagement with our stakeholders. There is a reason why PR activities are delegated to professionals. We need donations to run this ship and donors need to see the effects their contributions make. Why cut of your nose to spite your face? We cannot afford bad publicity. Why do we claim to be fighting for the future of SOS and dragging SOS through the mud at the same time? If anything we should have ourselves to blame for any fallout after this. Now, can someone tell me who should be saved first from a burning building; an old man, or an infant? Are we ready to jeopardize the futures of our brothers and sisters in the village to save one person’s job. And who was that smart person who decided that we should use a hammer to kill a fly anyway?

So my brothers and sisters, until all my questions are answered, I will borrow a leaf from Baba Lupita, I will keep to the sidelines and watch the demonstration while drinking my hot chai.